Busted is busted!
1970 Ford Thunderbird
From K:
“Ahhhhh, young high school love…er, lust…there’s nothing like it.
I had been cozying up to a gorgeous red head in journalism and history
classes. She was beautiful and to be honest, Waayyyyy out of my league.
But persistence and probably myopia set the stage for a couple of
off-campus lunches and ultimately, our first real date.
There seemed to be some honest and almighty-hot chemistry between us
so I began planning for the ultimate evening.
That evening included borrowing my mom’s brand new Ford Thunderbird.
It was spring of 1970 and the 1970 Ford Thunderbird was more of an
urban assault vehicle than a car. It was like driving your living room down
the road. And the back seat? Holy cow…the possibilities took my breath.
Begging and pleading finally won the day and the use of mom’s T-bird.
She raised an eyebrow as she told me that the car had better be washed
and waxed with a full interior detail before I brought it home.
Of course, I agreed to the terms.
For this, I would have agreed to a lobotomy.
I’ll save the details but suffice it to say that the date went exactly how I
wanted it to. After consuming two bottles of Pagan Pink Ripple in the desert,
we decided the back seat of the T-Bird was our best bet.
I dropped my date off at home about 12:30 AM and proceeded to the
nearest car wash. I scrubbed the interior, hand-washed and waxed the car
and by 3 AM, I was ready to park it in the driveway and go to bed.
At about 7:00 AM, I was awakened by my dad. He whispered hoarsely that
I should get my a$$ out of the house as quickly and quietly as possible
and go hang out at my best friend’s house until it was safe to come home.
I was bleary-eyed and confused, but my dad’s urgency prodded me to
follow his instructions. I fired up my BSA 440 Victor and fled the scene.
It wasn’t until about 4:30 that afternoon that my dad called Kirk’s house
and gave me the all-clear to come home. As I sheepishly slid in the door,
my mom glared at me from the dining room table. I would have been more
comfortable with Joseph Mengele staring me down.
My dad was almost beside himself, trying not to laugh out loud.
After my mom stomped off to the kitchen, my dad herded me out the door,
toward the driveway and to the scene of the crime. He opened the back door
and got in then motioned me to get in with him. He was laughing so hard,
it produced tears. Finally he was able to choke out a question.
“What did you miss?”
I looked all over the car. It was spotless and surely in better condition
than when I received it. He let me search for a full two minutes before
he tapped me on the shoulder.
“Looks like you forgot something sport.”
He tapped his index finger on the headliner of the car.
Right over the top of our heads were about 20 distinct little inter-crossed
footprints, produced by feet that had frolicked in the desert before moving to
the relative comfort of the T-Bird’s back seat.
Busted is busted. I challenge anyone to try to lie their way out of that.”
<3 Google Voice
Ah, the beauty of Google Voice! Saving me from clueless wonders time and time again!
I was out and about one night, promoting an upcoming Art Show, and gave my artist card to a group of guys, telling them about the Art Show, and to drop by. No flirting, no dancing, nothing to indicate I was interested in any of them.
Later, once I got home, I received 4 phone calls, and a text from one of the group:
2:58 am:
Hey K, It’s John, I met you tonight. I thought you wanted me to call you so. I’m calling you so you should call me back. I just got home. My number is 555-5555. You better call me here. Ohh, bye.
3:37 am:
It’s John, We met tonight. I thought you actually wanted to talk to me, hello. Bye. It’s 3:40. Bye. Yeah, I don’t know if you’re already asleep. But if you’re not. You should call me. Yeah. Either way. Yeah. Talk soon. Bye. Yeah just call me tonight. You may call okay.
3:57 am:
It’s John, I like you, please be with me tonight. I’ve called you a few times. I really want to see you, and you said you live up North. Anyway, I was hoping I would see you. So yeah, if you get this give me a call. Yeah, 555-5555. Alright, bye.
Guys-Take note:
#1- If you call after 12am, It’s a booty call
#2-If I’ve just met you, Not gonna happen
#3-Even if I’ve known you for a while, Not gonna happen either
#4-This makes you reek of desperation
Drunk Dating Dont’s
Don’t get so wasted that your date has to carry you.
Don’t get so drunk that getting a piggyback ride sounds like a great idea.
Don’t date someone that is too cheap to get a pedicab.
And finally, don’t wear an outfit that shows your goodies during said piggyback ride.
Oh, and she fell off at least 4 times within one block….
Can We Say Socially Awkward?
Blind Date in college, with a med student specializing as an OB/GYN.
Him: “You know what’s good about dating me? Free birth control pills”
Her response? : “Well, that won’t be necessary. I’m a virgin and saving myself for my husband.”
That’s Kind of Hard to Do…
From Jeff:
So, I asked this girl for her phone number last week, and her response was, “I only date gay men, sorry.” WTF!?!?!?!
Not sure how exactly that would work, do you?
Welcome to the world of being Single!
I’ve heard some crazy stories about first dates, pick-up lines, and just plain crazy behavior in the dating world, and I want to share with the world!
Post your horrible dating experiences, crazy behavior, pics, or video of your weird encounters….
